Wednesday, September 8, 2010

End of the Line

Well friends, it's been a grand journey from January until now (September 8th).  There have been so many lessons, two 5k runs (for those who are wondering, I did complete the Camp Meeting 5k in June with a time of 36 minutes give or take a few seconds...it was much harder than the April run with lots of hills and ladies with baby carriages passing me!  I did however, finish what I started and I'm pretty geeked about that! :)), and a lifetime of inspiration and admiration for those who run consistently. 

A few weeks ago, just after decided that I would continue running since I didn't EVER want to have to go through the intense training again, I suffered a grade three calf strain and was unable to walk for 5 days, was on crutches and then limping in a soft cast for a week and after some time of wrapping and taking it easy, have finally begun walking daily.  It will be a while before I'm back on the trail, but hopefully, because I've learned so much and had such an amazing journey with the Lord through all of this, I will begin again.

Thanks for supporting my blog, for supporting my runs and for loving Jesus Christ, who gives us such amazing bodies, minds and hearts! 

Keep running the race, our prize is just up ahead!

Kasey

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

June 8th, 2010--Susan Komen Update and Future Plans

Hello Friends...I've missed you!  How's things?

I thought I better update my blog today since I have a few minutes to spare.  You've probably been wondering how the Susan Komen run went on April 25th...or maybe not... 

Well if you're interested, the run was held on a nice cold day...the first mile my muscles were in self-preservation mode--stiff and freezing cold! We kept moving because if we didn't we'd seize up and someone would find me stuck on the ice patch near the water stand, frozen solid. 
 
The physical aspects of the race weren't too tough--especially since I interspersed some walking in with the running and could allow my heart to slow down enough so I didn't think it would explode inside my chest. I had complete control over how hard I would push myself, hard at some points, not so hard at others.  Thank goodness for a very large group of walkers behind me--which, with their even pace and strides, allowed me to survive and not embarrass myself by coming in last.

I didn't know it until the race actually began, but running is a very big mental challenge.  How many times can you tell yourself you're not going to quit, you're not going to fail, you're just going to keep going no matter what? Only so many times...at least until you start defending the character of a quitter. That's when you know there's a battle going on and you better just turn off the brain for a second. 

I found that when I needed to shut 'er down for a few, I'd just look around and think about each of the people I saw.  What was their life like, did they have families, why did they decide to wear that to run in?  That was distracting enough to give me a short break from the diatribe going on in my head. 

Then I would daydream...

The visions of finishing and going home or coming in last as the finish line is being dismantled was enough to keep me moving swiftly...well, ok, "swiftly" was an exaggeration...how about just "moving"?  Moving is good.

Either way you look at it, there must be either humiliation or a reward; just running for the sake of running is either insanely crazy or foolish.  At least in my view.  But the visions of (sugarplums) reward are what kept me going. 

Sure, rewards are selfish.  I am unrepentant--I like them, I will work for them, I will be motivated by them, I will continue to strive when I'd rather give up to get them. I will also do all in my power to avoid humiliation.  Call me human. 

Life is like running.  There are challenges, rewards and humiliation to be avoided.  Only in the Christian life, the reward is Jesus.  So I keep running, however slowly, taking breaks and walking, sometimes sprinting to the finish, sometimes just crawling along.  Whatever pace I go, I go.  I will get my Jesus (reward) (sugarplum) in the end. And it will be worth the effort.

I finished at 38 minutes, just in front of a fellow co-worker who speed walked the race.

I think running is overrated so I'm going to speed walk the Camp Meeting race.  My top speed is "casual morning stroll".  So I'll see you at the finish line, if it's still up by the time I get there...either way--the end of our race is almost here and our reward is waiting!  Get out there and get moving!

Until next time!

Kasey

 

Friday, April 23, 2010

Has it really been two months since I posted?

Hi there...ok, so it's been a while since I blogged anything.  That gives me a lot to work with.  Where to start.....hmmm.....

Oh, well, I'm still training.  As of today, April 23rd, I am running most of the 3.1 miles with short periods of walking interspersed.  My time is just under 45 minutes.  I am quite satisfied with this progress although it is my goal to be under 35 minutes by June.  However, under the circumstances, which I'll explain momentarily, I think I'm happy with my progress.

On February 21st I was in a car accident with my 7 year old.  A young lady who just received her drivers permit made a left turn in front of me and I couldn't stop.  Blessedly, everyone involved was ok.  That foggy moment just after it happened (when my brain finally started to work again) when I briefly wondered if my baby was ok, was something I don't ever want to experience again.  Thank God, he was just fine.  He said that it felt like he hit a pillow--I think it was a pillow all right, a very big, very "downy" pillow, if you know what I mean. PTL!

But, I was bruised up pretty badly and sore from head to toe and unable to use my right hand.  I'm not sure what happened but after my husband got to the accident scene, we went to the hospital to get it checked out.  The x-ray didn't show any breaks, but as of today, over 2 months later, I am still having a lot of pain and have been referred to a specialist to have it looked at.  But anyway, due to the accident my training was set back a few weeks.

During all of this, I found out that my boss (and my friend) is moving to Alaska at the end of June.  ALASKA!  What?  Really?  So, needless to say, I've been upset over that too.

Then the Women's Retreat registration opened and work was crazy busy.  No time for anything, especially blogging!  But now that they are over and things are calming down, I thought it might be time to post something.

My first race is in 2 days--yes, you heard me--2 days.  I'm not sure just how things will go; sometimes I worry, but then think, "who am I worried about?"  I know there will be ambulances and medical personal stationed throughout the race--CPR is a stones throw away.  Other than that, what do I really have to worry about?

I have come to the conclusion that I like to worry.  It makes me happy to worry. Should I be worried about that?

I can think of so many things to worry about, like do these shoes go with this outfit? What are we going to have for dinner and will my kids eat it?  Will my son's be taller than I am?  Do people think I worry too much? You know, important stuff.

If I don't worry and fret over things, who will?  Someone needs to; these are important issues and need to be seen by the world around me as important too! Right?

Well, I think that during these last two months, my capacity to function and worry at the same time has been severely limited.  If I try, I find myself on the verge of panic and to be frank, I don't do panic.  So, I guess that if I had to choose between functioning and worrying, I'll take option number one.

("What's behind door number one Janet?  Ohhh look, you've won the ability to think, feel and process information!  That will come in handy when you're working, spending time with your family, or just enjoying life!  {{Wild Clapping and Oohs and Ahhs}}  Johnny, tell her about it!"  "Oh thank you Bob, this is just what I've always wanted!")

So I'm looking forward to the race, whatever time I finish with, whatever medical attention I might require or bodily functions that might embarrass me.  As long as everything is working properly, I have no worries.

Wish me luck!   I'll post more after the race! Until then, many many blessings to all of you!

Kasey

Monday, February 15, 2010

February 15th, The Rundown

Good morning! Today is Monday, February 15th and I am in excruciating pain. So perhaps the cheery welcome was a bit forced. Or an exaggeration. Ok, it was an outright lie.  I confess.

Whatever, I need to find the truck that ran me down Saturday night. When I can move again, someone will be interrogated with tactics the likes of which would make Sayid proud.  Much like the threat of "wait until your father gets home," you should be very, very scared.

Until then I'll just have to keep bottles of Motrin and water nearby. 

To recap for those of you who weren't involved in the rundown; Saturday night my (so-called) friends and (ex) son and his friends asked me to play basketball with them during a youth night outing at the Howell Armory.  Like prey sensing danger, my head perked up.  Ears twitching, I scanned the horizon for the nearest escape but I was surrounded.  Rather than creating a frenzy with the scent of fear, I agreed. I should have just took a knee and let them devour me, it would have been less painful. 

Having played basketball through elementary, middle, junior high and high school, I thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  As a starting forward, our high school team was always very good, in fact we won the state championship in 1984 and always had very successful teams until I graduated.  It used to be part of my identity, my passion.  I was an ATHLETE for pity's sake.  No teenage boys were going to intimidate ME!  Plus, I was on the awesome new running plan, I was getting FIT.

Oh how the mirages of the past so quickly fade in the harsh heat of reality...

To spare myself the repetition of the ugly details, lets just say the last 20 years have not been good to my muscles. Or heart, or lungs...Several times I had fleeting thoughts of whether or not there was a defibulator on the premises.  Just in case.

And then, THEN, I was talked into going swimming on Sunday afternoon.  "It's good for sore muscles," I was told.  "Soothing."  "Relaxing."  Right. 

Sap that I am, again I listened.  And swam.  And played some water basketball with my (ex) (did I mention that?) son and friends.  WHEN will I learn?

So here I am today--typing gingerly, popping Motrin and guzzling water just to be able to call my pain excruciating. Someone (besides me) is going to pay for this fiasco.  Mark my words.  Heads will roll--just as soon as I can move.

If I can just give you one little piece of advice; don't let 20 years pass between you and the state championship.  It's just not worth the pain of trying to get back in shape.  Take my word for it. 

Until next time...keep running.  Seriously.  Don't EVER stop.  EVER.

Kasey
 

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Feb 8th--W5D2 Playing Catch Up

Well hello friends!

I thought I'd take some time to catch up on my blog...it's been a while.  Yes, I am still running, I haven't given up yet.  Although it's an option I consider periodically.  Like yesterday. And today.  And probably tomorrow.

But no matter, the training is progressing and I am impressed with the fact that I am wearing one size smaller dress pants today than I wore in January.  I know, I know, it's not about the weight loss.  (yeah, right)  It's about getting healthy and doing what's right for my life and my family.  It's about taking control of my choices and making new healthy habits. It's......ok, that's enough of that.

It's about weight loss too.

I went to the doctor yesterday for my annual physical.  Everything was great except I am the same weight I was a year ago.  After a month of back breaking training, I am still the exact same weight???? What?  Are you kidding me?  Doesn't that scale know I just finished DAY 1 of WEEK 5 in the Couch to 5K training program!!!!???? Doesn't it realize that by Friday I'll be running 20 minutes STRAIGHT?????  How can this be?

I just don't get it.  Especially as I sit here in my smaller size dress pants...

So yeah, today I'm a bit frustrated.  But there is good news.  I've been blessed by being introduced to a great new nutrition program and some encouragement from a friend.  It's so great to have someone say, "put down the hot chocolate and whip up a smoothie" every now and then.

I've made it another day without having to tip toe to the nearest Walmart candy aisle where the chocolate beckons. Thanks to you, my will power survives. 

My weight may be the same, but there are always new things to appreciate.

Till next time, keep running!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day 10--Jan 27th

Yesterday I had no motivation. Not even the thought of my first race looming only a few weeks away was enough to excite me about training. I ran at 4:00 as usual (I changed the time so I don't have to go back to work in my dress clothes while I was still perspiring.) Ok, well...."Perspiring" is such a nice way of saying, "Sweating like a pig on a steamy August afternoon knowing you're next in line for the slaughter." Whatever, I moved it to 4:00 so I could just go home and take a shower afterward.

Despite the lack of motivation, I kept hearing in my mind that it takes 30 days to form a new habit. Having implemented this "habit" on January 4th, I'm starting to think that the person who said that is unstable. However, with the thought that I'd have a new healthy habit and be home free in less than a week, I snatched up my backpack and headed over to the White House to run.

Oh...it was a tough day. My legs were so stiff it felt like I was running on crutches; I had no pace or fluidity but instead lumbered like a freight train through 30 minutes of grueling, mind numbing pain. The rhythm was a deafening: thud, thud, pause, thud, thud, pause, thud, thud, pause.

Where oh where was my joy? Where was my conviction? Where was my deep, spiritual insight and application? Had they abandoned me like fair weather friends? They have been my long time, but not oft called on companions; they probably got sick of me seeking them out only in times of desperation. They packed up and went home. I don't blame them. This treadmill was no place to be right now. Trust me.

I was alone with no flights of feeling, no deep reservoir of strength, no desire for selfish benefit. It was just me, running. Not knowing why. Just hoping that I could form a new habit if I kept at it.

OOOOHHHHH
.......the light bulb went on...

Wow! That was the secret? HOPE? Just the hope that I could be stronger and in better control of mind and body kept me enduring this punishment? Hope has that kind of power?? The deep spiritual insights were numerous. I'll leave them to you to apply.

After a few minutes of contemplation, one major thought occurred to me; I'm not to be trusted with this knowledge. With great power, comes great responsibility...or so I've heard. I'm not worthy of knowledge, power, responsibility or trust. But I am still hopeful.

Over the years, my deepest hopes have always been to have new habits and desires, to be better. To be free from sin and soul sickness, sadness and grief. To be like Jesus. And here was the answer, staring me right in the face. Not shrouded in feeling, fancy, selfishness, pride, vanity, or anything else, my motivation was simply hope. Whether it was in training my body, or training my mind, the power of hope was enough to keep me going.

I'm pondering this new revelation. I'll write more about it later. Hopefully, tomorrow.

Till next time, keep running!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day Unknown (Sometime during week 4) Jan. 26th

Yes, I ran today. I've also been walking on my days off. However, I have NOT been blogging much. Sorry about that but somethings gotta give. I'll make it up to you, I promise.

My musings will probably ramble a bit since I've got 4 sessions of running workouts to catch up on. See what you get when you procrastinate? A long winded blogger and a bored bunch of readers. I'll try to keep it short...in the event that becomes impossible, feel free to surf the web instead. That's what I do.

Anyway, the last few workouts have been good. My stamina is improving, I'm up to about 9 minutes of continuous running with just a few minutes to rest in between. I'm not really supposed to be doing this much in week 4 of the program, but I'm trying to push myself a little bit harder so I can work on my speed before the race. It would be embarrassing to be beaten by a 12 year old, a 92 year old, or a new mommy pushing a stroller. Not that I haven't been beaten badly before...it happens. I'm just trying to avoid it this time. Call me selfish.

Which reminds me, today my friends Cindy and Tennille talked me into signing up for the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure on April 25th in Lansing. They are both running it so I agreed. I'm an idiot. There, I said it.

But hey, a goal of some kind never hurts. Especially for "Goal-Challenged" people like me.

Any-whooo...I've found these last few runs to be quite exciting. Not because they're fun--PLEASE...but rather because I see what is happening to my heart and lungs. They work, and work pretty efficiently. Who knew?

It's cool to see what your body can be trained to do. It's neat to feel yourself becoming stronger and hear your mind begin to tell you things you haven't heard in a long time. NO not, "hey those nachos have your name on 'em", but thing like, "you can do it" "will you look at that, 9 minutes", and "if rein in your breathing, you can go another minute". It's been interesting (to say the least) as my big, fat head has been used for something more than a hat rack. I repeat, who knew?

I've come to appreciate and trust the program. It's certainly not easy. It's not really fun either. But fun and ease are highly overrated. I've tried that road and I've yet to reach an eternal Disneyland. So I guess I'll try the hard work and self-denial road. At the very least, I know I'll end up with a heart that can pump some serious amounts of highly oxygenated blood and a brain that sends me love notes. Even if it costs me some Reese's cups and sweat, that's a pretty good deal.

Trusting the program, taking the path less traveled, appreciation, and hard work...I think God knew what would make us truly happy. He's a pretty smart Guy and worthy of every drop of sweat. His love is awesome. What else could make a person back away from the Reese's?

Until next time...keep breathing!